The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize