i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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