There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
