please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
