You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
