just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize