note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
