they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
