oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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