I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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