We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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