They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We need a shit load of segways right now
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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