Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
