Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
