You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
