Sry I called you an 8
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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