They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
