He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
