Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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