someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
