it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
