That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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