Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
