Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
