Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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