I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
