Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
