It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
