dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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