I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
