I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
