just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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