of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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