____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize