We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
