Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
