The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
