the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
