dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
