Say something about gay babies.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
