I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
