Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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