If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
