pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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