He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
