just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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