I'm drive I can fine osifer
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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