hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Alive.
So much puke
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
FUCK WHALES
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