I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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