I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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