Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize