i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
