Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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