The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
