I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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