i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
