Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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