I wanna bring you to show and tell
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
